Changing the game in youth sports: John O’Sullivan at TEDxBend
March 9, 2018 1 min read
O’Sullivan remembers when youth sports was about children competing with other children instead of adults competing with each other through their kids. Following nearly three decades as a soccer…
40 thoughts on “Changing the game in youth sports: John O’Sullivan at TEDxBend”
^_^ ^_^ ^_^
charming!
Competition is a good thing to have, but this focuses on the issue that there is too much pressure for youth to perform in their sport
uau mega bjss da kemily play
Hmm, 253,381 views and only 1k in likes sounds like many people did not agree with all of it. They did not want to give a thumbs up or down, I am one of those people. You had Interesting points I agree on some but not all of it. As your child ages there needs to be some level of accountability as they have a commitment to the team and their goals. If your child does not play competitive they have little chance of making their sports long term goals. Those are facts that your kids cannot comprehend and it is your responsibility to explain as they age.
I hate and don't speak to my family because they forced me to play sports. Sports ruined my life
john i feel the same. ive been a youth coach since 1993. I am currently in the process of creating a nonprofit with a twist. anyways thanks for this lecture.
This takes a little while for him to get to the good part, but is very much worth watching about how to encourage them to have fun. The phrase "I loved watching you play" has made a big difference at house. Listen to the whole thing in you are able.
Boooooo this is shit. If there are parents screaming like that then it's only a few and it's not all parents at all games. I mean It's not as if loud parents have a group think and/or a cop's mindset… A child's experience is indicative of the club and how the club is managed, it's curriculum and the people chosen to train the youth in whatever the sport. For every bad parent there is 20 great ones. This video is shit. What really drives 75% of teens away is no more fun. The reason there is no more fun is because of a combination of things… Poor coaching is the number one reason why things become no more fun. The decision by the child or the forced choices of homework and family duties can impair practicing and progression. No practicing (at all) holds a child back, especially if other teammates have physically developed faster. This makes sports less fun. The less you know the worse off you'll be… Furthermore, girls have different reasons for stopping than boys and variables are vast. But the antagonist cruel sport parent is not as common as this video commands. If there is these monster parents at every turn, again, it would be due to the lack of coaching not the parents interest
Thank you! I have always been criticized for thinking that kids should PLAY sports. Both my kids have wanted to quit sports for this very reason. I was given this video by my son's new hockey coach. My son is 10. This video brings back many moments of sadness when my son was in tears because a coach yelled at him.
Truely inspiring! Shared it with all my Club parents and coaches…..
Inspirational words – Thank you. Sharing this with my group right now.
Cool
What a brilliant talk. Thank you John for your authenticity and commitment to kids.
<3 Good sportsmanship.
While I agree with what you are saying, I think there is another issue we need to tackle as well. That is finding opportunities for "recreational" youth athletes. While there are plenty of "beer leagues" in all kinds of sports for adults, once a child becomes a teenager, there is not a lot of opportunity to continue to play sports on a "recreational" level. A large time and training commitment is expected for most teams, and for kids who might not be that "good" at a sport, there is just no place for them on the team, or no playing time if they are on the team. I think another challenge we need to meet is to have truly recreational programs for kids (especially as they get to high school age) that focus on fun and participation – where you don't have to be "the best" to play.
And to think of what I missed. Unsupervised games, playing all day, having fun (unless windows were broken while playing baseball but as kids, we had our own rule for this – everyone pays if a window is broken). As kids, we entertained ourselves, learned teamwork and valued friendship, and celebrated when friends were on teams that did well. Our coaches never allowed individual "glory" and only focused on team effort and team results. I wonder what we did wrong to be able to play without constant adult supervision urging us on to the "competitive or traveling team" when all we wanted to do was play with friends. We learned to deal with disappointment, no trophies or ribbons, or not making the cut for elite teams because we were only friends looking out for each other and having fun together.
Totally agree. So glad I didn't need a video to tell me those 5 words. Proud to know that I've always said that to my children. Still is true to this day!
I really needed to know how I should be handling it at my kids youth bb games, it has become an uncomfortable place for me …..I LOVE WATCHING HIM PLAY but it was getting lost in the BS with the other parents. Some of them are SOOOO intense. Thanks for the simple reality check! I am going to give the game back to my kid, and by doing so, get the joy back for us both…..
Outstanding!!! This is exactly what our group has been saying for years!
awesome. thank you for sharing. i work at a rec and park in california and see this everyday.
Awesome! I needed to see this today. I love watching my daughter play!!
So powerful
In youth leagues where I am the organizer carries a bag of lollipops. Any parent getting too intense or loud is given a lollypop as a quieter way of telling them they need to shut their mouths. It is good psychology too, puts the peer pressure and shame back on them, not their kids. No parent wants to be singled out in that way, so they bite their tongues a bit.
Thanks we all as parents should do this.I love watching you play…WOW,Thanks John great message.
Excellent message John! The 5 words you used; "I love watching you play" are powerful…for both kids and parents. One of the most important things a parent and coach can do for kids is to build their self-confidence and self-esteem…which often means watching kids try, make mistakes and continue to want to play because they're not being criticized, especially in front of their peers. The worst thing a coach or parent can do is to remove the joy of playing and looking forward to playing in young kids…older ones too! Thank you for what you're doing for kids and their parents!
Changing the Game has changed the way I coach my sons in both football and baseball. This reinforces everything I have been trying to do and offers great insight of how to do it better. The other parents love it as well. It is just to easy to get all wrapped up in the heat of the moment etc. Thanks!
I am a parent our three children, aged 17, 18 and 20. All have played sports their whole lives. I myself was also an athlete growing up and became a Level III coach. Of course my kids all played the one sport I did not play or coach in the past and that was soccer. ( my son has since moved onto playing football) I have been trying to share similar thoughts throughout my kids lives, with them and their coaches. (not many coaches will listen to a "Mom" or female ) I am THRILLED to see this and will share it with all coaches, board's ect, that my kids are involved with. It is such a vital and important message for both parents and coaches of kids in youth sports. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! Do you travel into Canada? How can I bring or get your talk into schools here?
however , kids need to be competitive because everyday life is competitive , from studies to getting a job . They need to learn this early in life , sooner the better .
Don't forget… after kids move to high school, "youth sports" end. Unless you make the cut onto the high school team, there are no longer youth sports leagues to join. Guess who always makes the cut in high school sports? Only the top 10-15 players out of the pool of a hundred that played in middle school. I am trying to deal with this issue now while coaching my son's 8th grade basketball team. We have been together for 5 seasons and play in a recreational division in the county youth basketball league. This is the last year we can compete in this league. The guys on my team are not going to make the cut in high school, so they generally stop playing organized basketball. All the parents of my players have voiced that they want to keep playing with this team. I am trying to expand youth sports for the rest of the kids into high school. Any ideas?
Right on- so many parents living thru their children and not letting their children play
Wow…such a personal gut check for me as a parent/coach of both my daughter's softball and son's soccer teams. Great message John. Thanks.
This is a great video! I sent it to several people one the commissioner of our basketball league. I have seen some terrible things in soccer and especially AAU basketball. I guess they think their 10 year old is some day going to get them rich. However, the finger points back at my husband and I, we are guilty of the car talks and expecting just too much 🙁 Thank you again!
This guy is great! I think he should have eaten an apple before going on stage though. The mouth noise is annoying.
Thank you so much for saying what I would love all parents and coaches to hear! I have shared your message on FB. Hopefully this philosophy will spread quickly. My other problem with the competitive travel teams is that so many children who can't afford it, are left out. Then when they want to join a middle school team they don't have the experience and get cut.
I think we start kids way too young in sports. My 6 year old was playing Tball this summer and one coach was playing 4 kids at the pitchers mound fielding basically making it impossible for any kid on our team to hit the ball by them. When I approached out coach and asked if that was okay he said, "It is what it is". This coach wasn't teaching his kids anything. He just wanted to win (a Tball game no less). My son even asked me why they had so many pitchers when his team only had one.
^_^ ^_^ ^_^
charming!
Competition is a good thing to have, but this focuses on the issue that there is too much pressure for youth to perform in their sport
uau mega bjss da kemily play
Hmm, 253,381 views and only 1k in likes sounds like many people did not agree with all of it. They did not want to give a thumbs up or down, I am one of those people. You had Interesting points I agree on some but not all of it. As your child ages there needs to be some level of accountability as they have a commitment to the team and their goals. If your child does not play competitive they have little chance of making their sports long term goals. Those are facts that your kids cannot comprehend and it is your responsibility to explain as they age.
○신규▒첫3+1▧5+2◆이벤♬
◇스포츠▥분석픽◑조합픽◑무료공유◐
▤실시간♥무료◈공유▤가족방★
⊙카톡⊙ID▦0284◑검색후▒톡
I hate and don't speak to my family because they forced me to play sports. Sports ruined my life
john i feel the same. ive been a youth coach since 1993. I am currently in the process of creating a nonprofit with a twist. anyways thanks for this lecture.
This takes a little while for him to get to the good part, but is very much worth watching about how to encourage them to have fun. The phrase "I loved watching you play" has made a big difference at house. Listen to the whole thing in you are able.
Boooooo this is shit. If there are parents screaming like that then it's only a few and it's not all parents at all games. I mean It's not as if loud parents have a group think and/or a cop's mindset… A child's experience is indicative of the club and how the club is managed, it's curriculum and the people chosen to train the youth in whatever the sport. For every bad parent there is 20 great ones. This video is shit. What really drives 75% of teens away is no more fun. The reason there is no more fun is because of a combination of things… Poor coaching is the number one reason why things become no more fun. The decision by the child or the forced choices of homework and family duties can impair practicing and progression. No practicing (at all) holds a child back, especially if other teammates have physically developed faster. This makes sports less fun. The less you know the worse off you'll be…
Furthermore, girls have different reasons for stopping than boys and variables are vast. But the antagonist cruel sport parent is not as common as this video commands. If there is these monster parents at every turn, again, it would be due to the lack of coaching not the parents interest
Thank you! I have always been criticized for thinking that kids should PLAY sports. Both my kids have wanted to quit sports for this very reason. I was given this video by my son's new hockey coach. My son is 10. This video brings back many moments of sadness when my son was in tears because a coach yelled at him.
So many young athletes won't make it further because of their terrible coaching as a kid. https://www.theodysseyonline.com/to-the-coach-who-ruined-the-game-for-me
Bollocks,cultural Marxism in sports.
wow revelation!
Truely inspiring! Shared it with all my Club parents and coaches…..
Inspirational words – Thank you. Sharing this with my group right now.
Cool
What a brilliant talk. Thank you John for your authenticity and commitment to kids.
<3 Good sportsmanship.
While I agree with what you are saying, I think there is another issue we need to tackle as well. That is finding opportunities for "recreational" youth athletes. While there are plenty of "beer leagues" in all kinds of sports for adults, once a child becomes a teenager, there is not a lot of opportunity to continue to play sports on a "recreational" level. A large time and training commitment is expected for most teams, and for kids who might not be that "good" at a sport, there is just no place for them on the team, or no playing time if they are on the team.
I think another challenge we need to meet is to have truly recreational programs for kids (especially as they get to high school age) that focus on fun and participation – where you don't have to be "the best" to play.
And to think of what I missed. Unsupervised games, playing all day, having fun (unless windows were broken while playing baseball but as kids, we had our own rule for this – everyone pays if a window is broken). As kids, we entertained ourselves, learned teamwork and valued friendship, and celebrated when friends were on teams that did well. Our coaches never allowed individual "glory" and only focused on team effort and team results. I wonder what we did wrong to be able to play without constant adult supervision urging us on to the "competitive or traveling team" when all we wanted to do was play with friends. We learned to deal with disappointment, no trophies or ribbons, or not making the cut for elite teams because we were only friends looking out for each other and having fun together.
Totally agree. So glad I didn't need a video to tell me those 5 words. Proud to know that I've always said that to my children. Still is true to this day!
I really needed to know how I should be handling it at my kids youth bb games, it has become an uncomfortable place for me …..I LOVE WATCHING HIM PLAY but it was getting lost in the BS with the other parents. Some of them are SOOOO intense. Thanks for the simple reality check! I am going to give the game back to my kid, and by doing so, get the joy back for us both…..
Outstanding!!! This is exactly what our group has been saying for years!
awesome. thank you for sharing. i work at a rec and park in california and see this everyday.
Awesome! I needed to see this today. I love watching my daughter play!!
So powerful
In youth leagues where I am the organizer carries a bag of lollipops. Any parent getting too intense or loud is given a lollypop as a quieter way of telling them they need to shut their mouths. It is good psychology too, puts the peer pressure and shame back on them, not their kids. No parent wants to be singled out in that way, so they bite their tongues a bit.
Thanks we all as parents should do this.I love watching you play…WOW,Thanks John great message.
Excellent message John! The 5 words you used; "I love watching you play" are powerful…for both kids and parents. One of the most important things a parent and coach can do for kids is to build their self-confidence and self-esteem…which often means watching kids try, make mistakes and continue to want to play because they're not being criticized, especially in front of their peers. The worst thing a coach or parent can do is to remove the joy of playing and looking forward to playing in young kids…older ones too! Thank you for what you're doing for kids and their parents!
Changing the Game has changed the way I coach my sons in both football and baseball. This reinforces everything I have been trying to do and offers great insight of how to do it better. The other parents love it as well. It is just to easy to get all wrapped up in the heat of the moment etc. Thanks!
I am a parent our three children, aged 17, 18 and 20. All have played sports their whole lives. I myself was also an athlete growing up and became a Level III coach. Of course my kids all played the one sport I did not play or coach in the past and that was soccer. ( my son has since moved onto playing football) I have been trying to share similar thoughts throughout my kids lives, with them and their coaches. (not many coaches will listen to a "Mom" or female ) I am THRILLED to see this and will share it with all coaches, board's ect, that my kids are involved with. It is such a vital and important message for both parents and coaches of kids in youth sports. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! Do you travel into Canada? How can I bring or get your talk into schools here?
however , kids need to be competitive because everyday life is competitive , from studies to getting a job . They need to learn this early in life , sooner the better .
Don't forget… after kids move to high school, "youth sports" end. Unless you make the cut onto the high school team, there are no longer youth sports leagues to join. Guess who always makes the cut in high school sports? Only the top 10-15 players out of the pool of a hundred that played in middle school. I am trying to deal with this issue now while coaching my son's 8th grade basketball team. We have been together for 5 seasons and play in a recreational division in the county youth basketball league. This is the last year we can compete in this league. The guys on my team are not going to make the cut in high school, so they generally stop playing organized basketball. All the parents of my players have voiced that they want to keep playing with this team. I am trying to expand youth sports for the rest of the kids into high school. Any ideas?
Right on- so many parents living thru their children and not letting their children play
Wow…such a personal gut check for me as a parent/coach of both my daughter's softball and son's soccer teams. Great message John. Thanks.
This is a great video! I sent it to several people one the commissioner of our basketball league. I have seen some terrible things in soccer and especially AAU basketball. I guess they think their 10 year old is some day going to get them rich. However, the finger points back at my husband and I, we are guilty of the car talks and expecting just too much 🙁 Thank you again!
This guy is great! I think he should have eaten an apple before going on stage though. The mouth noise is annoying.
Thank you so much for saying what I would love all parents and coaches to hear! I have shared your message on FB. Hopefully this philosophy will spread quickly. My other problem with the competitive travel teams is that so many children who can't afford it, are left out. Then when they want to join a middle school team they don't have the experience and get cut.
I think we start kids way too young in sports. My 6 year old was playing Tball this summer and one coach was playing 4 kids at the pitchers mound fielding basically making it impossible for any kid on our team to hit the ball by them. When I approached out coach and asked if that was okay he said, "It is what it is". This coach wasn't teaching his kids anything. He just wanted to win (a Tball game no less). My son even asked me why they had so many pitchers when his team only had one.
Sad.